school

its been okay i guess, though i seem to be nowhere near excited as i was before. i feel like i'm in jc! except that i'm taking triple science, econs instead of lit and effective comm instead of ki. and that chem is okay for a change and there's no lit to look forward to coz econs doesnt seem very artsy and i have to walk further distances to lessons and i dont have a lesbian lower to spend my life with. the parts which stay the same is that i hear the math lecturer speaking in a totally foreign language and cant seem to bring myself to do tutorials.

hall is alot better. the fact that i'm staying there is debatable since i seem to spend so little time there since i keep going home. i know its terrible and i really should be more involved. i thought this would be like my ideal situation, all the freedom and distance from home, but i guess all the time i spent at home recently made me alot more attached to it without me realising it. i need to watch tv and drink ginger beer on the sofa till i fall asleep and have dinner with the family and quarrel with people. but on the rare occasions i have spent time here, its great! hthts and supper. i know i should be spending more time with the og people, both for bie and hall, i alr feel myself drifting away, but i dont wanna sacrifice my relationships outside ntu either and its impossible having the best of both worlds.

The Plan isnt helping either. i know what i want and suddenly i want it so badly. i know its terrible, i mean it hasnt even been two weeks, but its also like if i feel so strongly after so short, it must be bad right? its not that i hate it, it really is okay. i just find it so meaningless since i know what i want. it sucks that i'm not very confident its gonna work out though. i'm making all my decisions hoping that it will but there still is a possibility that it wont, and if it doesnt, gosh that would be the worst nightmare ever.

i know, i'm thinking too much and i should just enjoy myself now. today was no lesson day, a day i'm gonna look forward to every week! i woke up late and had to go to kc to pass diane her photo for her coursework, so by the time we reached shanker's house it was pretty later. siva, shanker, joey, calister, shong and i. they were in the middle of some zombie show which was supposed to be funny but it seriously wasnt. tearing open a guy's stomach and spilling and streching his guts out everywhere, how can that be laughable? guys are weird and shanker's movie taste is horrible. we watched wanted instead of brokeback mountain which was still good although it was my 2nd time watching it. i was really sad to leave early for mass which took an mrt ride and $17.55 of cab fare and which i still missed most of and hardly stayed ard after for, but i'm really glad for shanker's house. i had so much fun, thanks for your hospitality shanks. i love the machas and shong!

tmr i'm going for a martial arts display with ray at nus, which means missing the netball ibg and stuff but i miss ray too! and i really should get started on my tutorials if i wanna get them done by tonight.